Called to Serve

The Sunday before Christmas 2014, I turned in my mission papers to serve a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I recieved my call New Years Eve. I came out of my apartment in Salt Lake that day to head to work and saw it sitting on the top of the stairs. I screamed. My roommate came running to the door just in time to catch it as I threw the call at her and yelled "HIDE IT!" as I then proceeded to run to work because I was late and all of a sudden had a lot of energy. I came home from work and went to a new years party and couldn't stop thinking about it. My roommate continued to hide it from me under my request until Sunday, in which I carried it around with me at Church (still not opened) and had my temple interviews with my Bishop and Stake President. They all thought I was crazy for having not opened it yet. I went home to Kaysville after Church and carried it though my parent's ward. Then, finally, a little after 5 pm that night, in front of a house full of family and dearest friends and several Skypes, I read the long waited call:

Dear Sister Singleton, (SO MANY EMOTIONS)

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You are hereby assigned to labor in the Fiji, Suva mission. (WHAT?!? My mind went numb and the cheering went silent in my mind. This was it. My life long wait for the call that would have MY name on it was finally here. Now where is FIJI?!)

I will be serving a period of 18 months and speaking the Fijian language! I report to the Provo MTC Wednesday, May 20th! The room was full of commotion as we all realized that Fiji is part of the Polynesian triangle. In between New Zealand and Tonga! Just where I wanted to go! It was perfect! It has been quite the waiting period! I finished another semester of school, moved back to Kaysville, and continued working. All the while slowly preparing and watching people's expressions as I told them my call. It has been great and completely agree with everyone when they say that I have won the mission lottery! It is a dream come true! I am so excited and humbled to have the opportunity to give every moment of my time and study to learning and teaching of Christ! Inviting All to come unto Him to repent and come closer to Him through the Ordinances and Covenants of the Restored Gospel.

Now, just to clarify my decision to serve. Before the age of 10, I found myself huddled in the corner of my bed unable to breathe and see because of the sob that clogged my throat and tears the blinded my vision, I felt myself completely surrounded by darkness and pain, alone and lost, not knowing what to do with the pain and darkness around me, I remembered my favorite primary song and it became MY song. I began to sing a sincere prayer "Heavenly Father, Are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer. Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me every time I pray. Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told Disciples long ago, suffer the children to come to me. Father in prayer I'm coming now to thee!" In that moment, when normally a parent is traditionally supposed to sing the second verse in response to the child's prayer, I heard the Spirit sing a the second half with slightly changed words on behalf of the Savior. I heard: "Pray, I am here. Speak. I am Listening. You are My Child. My arms now surround you." I felt those arms. I was overwhelmed by the comfort, peace, and love and watched my room fill with light and warmth pushing back the darkness to complete nonexistence. To this day, I do not remember the lighting in my room because in my mind it was bright. I knew with out a doubt in that moment that I would never be left alone. That Jesus Christ would always be there to walk by my side. Which is why, when I was around 10 years old. I found myself going an hour early to Church just so that I could go to Primary twice. It was better than being at home. I realized that The Church of Jesus Christ was the only place that I could find peace and healing. It had all the tools I needed to overcome what I was going through. I cling to it. I committed to God, that because He was going to always be there for me, that I would commit my whole life as a mission for Him. That in all I did, my actions and words would point toward Him. Now, I am not a perfect person. No where even close. But it is my hope that those around me can testify of the light and drive that they have witnessed in my eyes because of this commitment. This is who I strive to be, this is how I strive to live, which is why, when the time finally came, the choice was already made. I would serve a mission, because a mission was my life and always will be.

Silver Sequined Shoes

In my first post I said this statement: "So, even though I was bigger than most my age, never had new clothes, and had no physical talents, I wore sequined silver flats like I was Cinderella, I smiled like I was priceless, and I did not care about what other people thought of me because I KNEW that His view of me was all that mattered. "

I still have those Silver Sequined Shoes. They are full of holes, falling apart, and very dirty, but they are my treasures. I was given to them in pretty much brand new condition by my teenage neighbor when I was in the 5th grade. I loved these shoes. Just imagine the picture of me in your head. A 5th grade girl, bigger in size than most in her class, a plain t-shirt that is worn often, and a very worn/falling apart pair of jeans, simple face, and hair in a pony tail. Then, you see her feet. How can you not? On her feet are the shiniest pair of silver sequined flats that turn into disco balls in the sun. Got the picture in your head? Yep. That was me. I wore those shoes no matter my outfit from 5th grade up to the 8th grade. When I got to the 7th grade I had to start putting card board into the bottoms and duck taped the inside so that my feet wouldn't touch the ground. I did everything to keep wearing them. They were my favorite pair of shoes. After I couldn't wear them anymore, I searched every where for another pair but they weren't made in that style anymore. I think the reason why I loved them so much was because my inner self was yearning to come out and by wearing those shoes, I was allowing a piece of me to show. A fun, hopeful, happy, bright side. There was something about them that brought me so much joy. I have a very vivid memory of standing by the window in my 6th grade classroom. The room was empty because it was recess and the sun was pouring in through the window. I just stood there, for several long minutes, staring at the beautiful rainbows exploding from my shoes. They were beautiful, and I was the vessel of its beauty. It felt good to be such. During that time, I discovered the ability to not care what other people thought. I danced proudly in those shoes. I smiled at everyone's questioning faces like I had no idea what they could possibly have to say me and I lived like no one was watching. Thank you silver sequined shoes!

-Fun Fact: I wore them to my first prom. Yep. I remade one of my sisters old homemade prom dresses and on it was a diamond broach. So, I decided that I wanted to wear silver shoes. Once again I tried to find a new pair of the shoes that I loved so much. After not being able to find the perfect pair, I resulted to my old ones. I pulled them out of my treasure chest, applied a new layer of cardboard and fresh duct tape. They still looked silver/gray and not all of the sequins had fallen off, plus no one would see them under my dress. So I wore them to prom, and felt like a Princess the whole time! I was Me! It was amazing.