This is my story. Being the 7th Singleton is a big part of who I am. I write this blog for the purpose of sharing a piece of my heart with anyone willing to get to know and connect with me. I am not a perfect writer but I hope you can understand. :)
Once upon a time, in the lands of Kaysville, Utah, a soft, bright, and strong spirit was born to the Singleton family. Born the 7th child to a crazy family, the young girl found herself a peacemaker to all the chaos. Life started out innocent and sweet. I was fought over and cuddled. My eyes only saw Love and the flowing of it so abundantly through the house. It was beautiful. Then things changed. When I was five years old my father was officially diagnosed with several mental disorders including Bipolarism. He could no long hold a job and so my rock star mom took on several jobs and schooling in order to meet the needs of our large family and very in debt household. I may not have have seen this moment of the Singleton life as well as my older siblings but I felt it. Did I mention I was born with a large heart? My whole family has one. I think it is what makes us 'Singletons.' During this time is also when I really started not liking my closest brother. Him and I did not get a long. AT ALL. We were worst enemies; for reasons on both sides. Anyway, because my mom was always gone at work and school, our dad was always asleep with his severe depression, my older sisters moved out fast, and my older two brothers were out with friends, most of the time is was just me and him(my enemy). The family consists of three older sisters, then three brothers, and then me, the youngest girl. I tell people that I was raised by gorillas because they all joined the military(a future blog post for sure!). I will simply say that they were naturals at a military life. haha Life got pretty hard and my vision to see love was clouded by pain, despair, and sadness. The innocent and tender little girl slowly disappeared and a self-reliant, defensive, tough girl was created. My poor body decided to change physically right along with mind so by the time I started the 5th grade I was over 5 feet tall, fully grown, had all my adult teeth, and was already a pro at handling a period. Having grown up and raised mostly by my brothers, I became a tom boy. Discarded T-shirts, DI jeans, and a constant pony tail was my life. It was until my oldest brother, who actually care about his appearance, brought home a hair straightener and gave it to me that I actually started to play with my hair. However, throughout all this chaos, I found myself being lead and taught by the Spirit of God. The pain I experienced caused me to cry unto God day and night. I discovered that the only joy and happiness I found in my dark existence was found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No matter the mean words and judgement of those around me, the Spirit always told me to be myself and that I was of Great Worth. So, even though I was bigger than most my age, never had new clothes, and had no physical talents, I wore sequined silver flats like I was Cinderella, I smiled like I was priceless, and I did not care about what other people thought of me because I KNEW that His view of me was all that mattered. For that, I am forever grateful for the blessing of the Spirit in my life. I want to say that everything was happily ever after from that point but life was still hard. I continued to struggle with my brother until he was in high school and the Atonement helped me change and forgive. I struggled with re-discovering that little girl that I had protected with my 'tough girl' image and what I want to contribute to the world. In my senior year of High School I read the book "Its Just My Nature" by Carol Tuttle and that helped a lot! My aunt supported me in discovering my inner self and desires and I began my journey of discovering who I am supposed to be. What makes me special? I still am not quite sure and will always be on this journey but through the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His Spirit I continue to find happiness, peace, direction, and once again, see glimpses of Love.
